Online dating is a whole different world, y’all. It takes courage to put yourself into cyberspace to be liked or swiped over. I want to congratulate those of us that are taking that leap into the awkwardness of “advertising” ourselves in front of complete strangers in hopes of finding love.
In this article I want to be honest about my feelings around online dating. I have 5 observations I have picked up along the way around behaviors and trends I’ve seen. For all my fellow single friends both male and female, I hope you can get glean some understanding and helpful hints from this, laugh a little bit, and know that you are definitely not alone in the #struggle… cause it’s real y’all!
- Be Kind
No matter what, always be kind. Whether you meet in person or online, it doesn’t matter. If a guy writes something lewd to me, I just delete him. If I don’t hear back from a guy in mid-conversation, I now mentally wish him well. Overall, I would say 80% of the guys I’ve gotten to know have been honestly looking for a potential mate. Initially, I had a hard time not taking things personally and I learned some lessons about myself through that, but I’ve gotten better at just moving on when it hasn’t worked out.
- What’s in a Number?
If you are on a site that asks for age range specifications for your ideal partner (ex: Match) and you see a pretty face that has a requested partner’s age range that does not include you, please for the love do not write them and try to persuade them to go out with you. Everyone deserves love, but the age range request is there for a reason. (This also goes for in-person singles events. Yes, this has happened to me. He was in his mid 60’s…bless him).
- What Humans Used to Do
I recently heard that if you want a date, you can have four lined up in an afternoon thanks to online dating. I don’t know what kind of dating he was talking about, but that has not been my experience. It grieves me that the dating world has come to this, but now when a guy initiates pursuit and eventually asks me out, it can make me feel validated as a human being and not just a picture. A HUMAN, Y’ALL. We should never make it hard to meet a good person in-person, if we are both interested in each other. And really, that should be the only point of getting on an online dating app or site, shouldn’t it?
- Detective Hat
I wish I didn’t have to include this one, but I must. Please do some heavy research before you meet someone in person. I had been looking at Facebook and googling the guys before our first dates. After one specific first date, I decided to dig deeper and look at the guy’s LinkedIn account. There I found out some very different info about him. Listen, if you’re gonna lie on dating sites about your age, place of work, or other specific hard facts that would be on a resume, what else are you lying about? Also, ALWAYS meet in a very public place and let family/friends know who you are with and where you are at all times.
- Dogs and Lakes
I cannot tell you the amount of men’s profiles that say “You must love dogs, hunting, four wheeling, living on the lake, and camping, or just go ahead and swipe left.” This may be hard for these men to hear, and I say this with all due respect, but it sounds like they are looking for males, not females. If you are trying to meet members of the opposite sex, they may not enjoy doing EVERYTHING you normally do as a single. Men and women are different. God made us that way. It’s a good thing! The awesome part is that you can introduce them to your hobbies and, if they really like you, they should be open to experiencing them with you! Plus, they may have some they want to introduce you to as well! 😉
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Well, I hope you have learned a little or at least had a good chuckle. I’ve had some really great men pursue me online. We met. Had fun. We survived. No biggie. We moved on when it didn’t work out. Overall, I felt respected and it was fun meeting someone new in the same boat as me. I hope they would say the same.
I highly recommend you doing what you are comfortable with though. I use discernment and I thank God for saving me from some unknown, and probably scary, experiences. I’m still old fashioned in my dating style, but I try my best to be flexible in this online dating world, and I think I’ve done pretty well so far!
Couldn’t agree more. I gave it a go at the start of last year and from the (non creepy actually on there for a genuine reason) male perspective, it’s just as tricky. After a few months I realised it was sometimes a sad fact after looking for advice 9n having some success that males felt they had to fine-tune their profiles so as to better attract their matches or to make themselves appear better to a potential mate. Personally I think you should still be yourself, down to the way you communicate (lets be honest guys, would you morally say those sorts of things to a girl in real life if you thought you’d met her in real life – unfortunately I accept some of you will prove me wrong here) and not just list a load of keywords you think will satisfy your supposed SO, but maybe I’m just old fashioned like yourself.
Thanks for your response, Mike! It’s awesome to hear from a male perspective with this whole online dating topic. 🙂 I appreciate it!
Most welcome :). Thanks for honest post – a rare find these days :).
Very helpful and Great information,
we appreciate advise especially coming from a professional.
Thanks again and keep up the great work!
A big thanks to you @Mandy. You have put all the important things here in your blog. Really online dating is a new and confusing world for many. To understand it a little better, daters must know some basic rules. Apart from their prospective Mr. Rights, there are many fraud people out there who are only in the intention of cheating people and steal their money. Online daters should perform a thorough background check on their interested partners and find out what is the truth before they make a move.