I’ve been driving the same sports car for the past 9 years. It’s my baby. I also love its gas pedal. I’ve only received one speeding ticket before and it was when I was pretty young (you live and learn). I was stopped another time because it “looked” like I was going fast but, since car profiling is apparently a thing, I don’t count that.
Needless to say, I don’t set my car on “cruise control” very often. The power that comes from pushing that gas pedal is just too exhilarating for me. But recently, while traveling down a road that had no red lights for about 6 miles, I decided to take a break and set it on cruise at the 50 mph speed limit.
It was excruciating. People were flying past me. It took every inch of control of my foot to not gun it to keep up.
But I didn’t.
I took a deep breath, kept my hands on the wheel, and let the car cruise on down the street.
And you know what? It wasn’t so bad. I noticed the scenery, took some deep breaths, and even pitied the people that were passing me in such a hurry. Obviously, they must be running late somewhere, right? Yeeeah.
So, because I’m a writer and life usually ends up a lesson for me, I started seeing how my cruise control moment related to my life. And boy does it.
As a single person, it’s amazing how much control I have. Basically, I can do what I want with my time and money and answer to no one. Watch what I want, go where I want, and eat what I want. Fortunately, I’m pretty easy going, organized, and financially responsible, but you get what I mean.
It’s control; but sometimes, it isn’t necessarily positive. I have to pay all the bills with no assistance. Take care of maintenance issues on my own. There’s no one to dream with. No one to share big life events with. No one to snuggle with. Ok, that’s enough of that. 😉
So when I have to take responsibility of my life because I am an adult and have to function in this world, but can’t control this little thing called dating that I want so badly, I’m supposed to be ok with that?
If I haven’t lost you yet, thanks for your persistence. Also, my ideas may seem antiquated but my view of a man pursuing a woman will not change. If a woman wants to ask out a man, go for it, but ladies it’s gonna hurt when you’re second guessing his intentions and interest, if he has any at all.
It’s a temporary high, I promise.
So I keep giving God control of the tempo and speed of my dating life. I give the men that are or aren’t interested in me that control too.
And it’s hard.
Let’s look at it this way:
You take the group of available, Christian, working, non-perverted, single men out there. Now subtract the ones that aren’t interested in me. (Lessens the pool) Of the interested ones, I may not be interested in some of them… gasp! (Lessens the pool) Then if we are both interested, he has to actually ask me out, call, and be intentional. (Lessens the pool) Then if we actually do meet up for coffee or a date we may not enjoy it or someone may disappear. (Lessens the pool)
Then we are back to waiting again.
But the alternative is agony, isn’t it? Racing around. Second-guessing. Trying to be “noticed.” Comparisons. The “go, go, go” of events where there are 60 women and 5 men. Maybe this time? No. Maybe this time? Nope.
The speed and monotony of trying to push that pedal and having unmet expectations can be torture.
So my decision is to keep letting God, and the man out there for me, have the control of the timing, speed, and pace. The gas pedal is theirs. It only takes one good one anyway, right?
Now, don’t think I’m sitting around waiting for a man to fall into my lap or land at my front door. First off, that would hurt and second, it would be really creepy. So, I keep doing fun things I ENJOY and if a great guy is there too, and notices how awesome I am, then jackpot! I say hello from time to time. I also try the online dating stuff at times but there are some major creeps out there so I take that in small shifts…haha.
And single men, if I may be so bold as to encourage you, if you are ready to pursue a rocking woman then please, please, please take ahold of that gas pedal and PUSH IT. Believe me, on behalf of single women everywhere I say, it’s reeeeally sexy. Our lady hearts go from 0 to 50 by you just taking the lead. And if it doesn’t work out, you have LOTS of us out there to keep pursuing…so keep moving forward!
All this to say, I do have control of a big aspect of my dating life that I haven’t mentioned yet. My spiritual gift of discernment has been my best buddy for a long time. The tug of the Holy Spirit on how to travel down this road has been my saving grace. My discernment is my steering wheel and I’m keeping both of my hands on it. God gave that gift to me and you better believe I’m using it.
So I’ll keep my hands on the wheel and Jesus, you take the gas.
Just feel free to push the pedal to the metal. 😉