He Wants My Last Name, First

I pushed opened the heavy wooden door and entered into the cool room. Darkness, a harp’s lullaby cascading into my ears, and a dimly lit cross in the corner filled the sanctuary that was “The Prayer Room.” 

It was a peaceful place to rest in His arms and take in all that was taught after the first day of the conference.

I began walking over to some tables and noticed multiple sheets of paper with different names of God written on them. Attached to the paper were people’s names.

A lady, also looking for her name, stepped beside me and whispered, “The woman that set up this prayer room prayed over all 700+ women by name that would be attending the conference this year. Then she taped thin sheets of paper with each of our names written on them on the name of God that she felt Him leading her to.”

groomMy eyes quickly began scanning over the hundreds of names and stopped as I saw “Mandy…”

The paper said “Bridegroom: My Eternal Mate.” If you know what a single woman’s mind can do, let me tell you… yes, it went there! Of course God is trying to “tell me” something right?

My eyes began to focus more in the dark. I had to take a second look at my name and smile at God’s amazing job. Guess what I noticed the second time around? The last name wasn’t mine. It wasn’t “Smith” but “Anders.” Hmm…

There I was thinking God was giving me a “sign” that while I have a definite Eternal Mate in Him,  I too will have a “Bridegroom: Earthy Mate.” By the way, it never said that. I just wanted it to.

It actually meant that He is our Eternal Bridegroom. Will forever be by His side in eternity. And that is AWESOME.

We don’t have to take things around in circles to mean something else. If we just take it for what it is, it’s what God meant to start with.

I began a hurried search for my name. This time paying extra special attention to my last name, first. After around 3 minutes and a good bit of “Smith” finding, I came over to a new table and saw “Mandy Smith.” Ahhh…finally. MY name!

 

jehovah

“Jehovah-Shammah: The Lord is There. The Lord My Companion.” Tears began to flood, not trickled gracefully, but FLOOD from my eyes. He was There. Beside me. My Companion. My one Constant. Better than any well-meaning, loving husband a woman can have here on earth.

You see, for the month leading up to this conference I had some interesting emotions arising in me. I was feeling more and more “alone.” Not lonely, but alone. I was aware of being on the couch at 9:00 pm and not having anyone to talk to. Coming home to a dark apartment day-after-day.

As a single 30 year old, I pride myself on enjoying my time and being at peace with His timing. But for some reason, I was recently becoming more acutely aware of the solitude. I dare say that if you are married and are reading this, you probably experience the feeling of being “alone” too, at times.

So I began talking to Jesus. While reading a book, I would look over and see Him sitting on the couch smiling and watching me. An outsider looking in would have thought I was “koo–koo” but because He was there, I began to talk to Him out loud. I was comforted.

Well, now you can understand why seeing my name on the “Jehovah-Shammah: The Lord is There. The Lord My Companion” sheet was such a “Wow! God!” moment. And I didn’t have to rearrange anything in my mind to make it fit into what I wanted it to read.

I took it for face value.

cross

I plopped down from where I was standing which was, by no accident, directly in front of the dimly lit cross. I thanked Him for wanting me and being there.

I knew that people would see my swollen eyes and runny mascara as I went back to my room later on, but I didn’t care.

He was there in that moment and He made sure MY first and last name was on that exact sheet. Before a man ever gets a chance to take away my last name and add his, He wanted me to know that my name and identity is precious to Him…just as it is.

He is my Companion and I am His. The Holy Spirit is housed in me. He is and will always be There with me.

He wants my last name, first.

 

 

                                                   

Taking It To Heart:

Have you found yourself talking to Jesus out loud? If so, did it bring you peace?
Do you ever try to twist meaning into something you know God didn’t intend?

21 Replies to “He Wants My Last Name, First”

  1. This is absolutely beautiful. Wow. God is SO good to us! Mandy, thank you for sharing!

    1. Aw Erin, thank you for reading this! He definitely is!! 🙂

  2. I love this so much Mandy. Hugs!

    1. Thank you so much, Sarah! You inspire me with your writing! 🙂

  3. Aunt Sandra says: Reply

    Your descriptive writings make me feel as if I was there with you in the room. You make my heart joyous! I am so proud of you and the beautiful young woman that you have become.
    Keep blogging and sharing your talents. Love you..Aunt Sandra

    1. Aunt Sandra, thank you for taking your time to read these posts! So glad you are enjoying them and feeling like you are there with me 🙂

  4. This was just beautiful. God has blessed you with such a wonderful talent to share your walk with him. Thanks for reminding us that we are never alone….How blessed we are !! Love You Mom and Dad

    1. Aww thanks y’all! You are always so supportive and I thank you for reading these posts 🙂 We certainly are!!! Love ya!

  5. Mandy,

    This is beautiful, and I am covered in chills. What a loving, personal God we have. Thank you for sharing and for reminding us of this.

    In Him,
    Dawn

    1. Oh Dawn! Thank you so much for reading and for your sweet encouragement! We are so blessed that He is so personal to us!! It was a pleasure meeting you at the conference!

  6. I’m the woman who sets up the Prayer Room each year. You will never know how timely this post is for me. Your story confirms God’s calling on me to lovingly and prayerfully care for His girls. Thank you for sharing. My heart is overflowing, as well as my eyes.

    Love you,
    Mama Lu
    aka Luann Prater

    1. Wow, wow, wow!
      Luann, I am so grateful and amazed that you were able to read this post and that we are meeting through it! ! I wish I could have met you at the conference! I would have given you a big ol hug in person! You are doing a WONDERFUL thing while praying on behalf of all of us ladies that attend. I know He has spoken to many more women through your calling and I want to say again, THANK YOU! Love to you too!

  7. Beautiful! I was in that prayer room too. The sweetness of His presence is amazing! Thank you for sharing your story.

    1. You’re so welcome, Laura! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  8. Trish Cordell says: Reply

    I really loved your story and it is amazing how Luann set up the room and prayerfully considered where He told her to place our names. God is always with us and I totally pictured Him sitting next to you smiling. Thanks for sharing!!

    Hugs!!

    1. It’s my pleasure, Trish! Thanks for reading and responding! 🙂

  9. This touched my heart, Mandy. So thankful that God is our companion and that He reveals His presence to us in such tangible ways. Can’t wait to hear all about the conference! Love you sweet friend!

    1. Can’t wait to share more, Donna Sue! Thank you!

  10. I loved reading the longer version of your sweet Kiss from the King Mandy! Loved connecting with you at She Speaks! <3

    1. Thank you, Kathy! It is awesome that we met that very first day! I appreciate your encouragement!

  11. […] 4) He Wants My Last Name, First […]

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