It was an average Thursday morning. I slid out of my warm, comfy bed to get ready for the day. I wish I could be the person that wakes up smiling and singing with birds flying through the air but it usually takes me around an hour to get ready to even talk in the morning. I made breakfast and began my devotional time. I used to be the person that refused to wake up early to have devo because I thought I was not a “morning person.” I did my devotionals at night and, while it was nice how God could teach me through what I had experienced that day, I always felt like I wasn’t prioritizing God, as He deserved. I would always wake up in enough time to fix my hair and face for the workday, so why couldn’t I fit in some one-on-one time with the Lord? I began waking up 20 minutes early a couple of months ago and it has become something I’ve really looked forward to.
My devotional that morning was on love and trust. Being that it is almost Valentine’s Day, and being a single woman, naturally I thought about love. I was humbled at the realization of how much of an idol I build towards marriage and relationships in my mind. I’m either frustrated because my future husband hasn’t shown up yet or I’m idolizing how great he will be. I know he will be wonderful just for me but he will only be human too. All the while, I’m using up my energy and time in the present thinking on someone that God has not brought into my life yet. Was I really trusting God for that area of my life?
As I got into my car and headed to work I began listening to some music. The song “How He Loves” started playing and I began singing right along! I was stopped at a red light and all of a sudden it hit me. “He is jealous for me!” “Oh, how He love us!” At that moment I understood what He had been trying to communicate with me that morning. He loves me so much and wants my love and attention right now. Whether single or married, my first priority will always be to love Him first. That “glow” that couples in love have should be on ALL of our faces!
All of the times I’ve done Bible study in a hurry or forgot to pray must hurt Him. Do I prioritize the man I am seeing at the time, or other hobbies and interests, over my time with the Lord without even a thought? Would I “forget” to talk with a boyfriend days at a time or ignore him on a date? When I really spend time with the Lord and cherish His Word, it is amazing! God created me. Jesus died for me. The Holy Spirit is housed in me. He wants to talk to me and listen. Spend time with me. He pursues me. He never leaves me. He cherishes every word I say. He is always there. Wow, sounds like a catch, right? I love how in Psalm 136 it repetitively states: “His love endures forever.” I need that repetition. Is it really so hard for me to let that sink in? Why do I take Him for granted or have the audacity to try and “fit” Him into my schedule when it is all His anyway?
As I sat at the red light and realized how I was essentially “playing hard to get” with God, teardrops fell from my eyes. Simultaneously, raindrops began to fall from the sky onto my windshield. We were, in a sense, crying together. I was rekindling and accepting the love I have with my Heavenly Father, once again. He cares for me. He knows all of my intricacies and still loves me. He wants a deeper relationship with me, to fill me up with His peace, and for me to trust Him completely. He wants all of these things with you as well! He has good plans for me including love and an amazing life right now! Hopefully, this will include a husband and children in the future, but until they come along in His timing (and even when they do) He will always be my first love. My loving father here on Earth will one day give my hand away and I’ll take my husbands. In that moment, I believe that God will only hold onto my hands even tighter. He is, without a doubt, jealous for me.